as i was cleaning my room today i began thinking how tasks like that are so soothing for me. i hate being told to clean my room. it's something that every child dislikes i think. but i remember fighting so much with my parents about that i high school. however, when i do feel the inclination to clean i love it. i put music on and take my time and when it's over i feel relaxed. of course it stays clean for about an hour, but that's not really the point. it's the process.
so maybe that's how i should be looking at this semester. a process. i get so focused and worried about the future and how scared i am about not being prepared that i don't even want to do my homework. what i should be doing is taking it one day at a time. well, that's just a philosophy of life everyone needs to follow anyway. but it's so hard to do that. some people i know never think about the future, they live very much day to day. it's something i could never relate to. i think this line of thinking (obsessing about the future) is what ruined the few good relationships i had in high school and college (with boys that is).
when i was in counseling we spent a lot of time discussing how fixated i was with the phrase "what if." the funny this is, i have totally forgotten what he said i should do to stop thinking in what ifs. oops. so much for therapy. all i know is that it's bad to think in what ifs. but knowing you shouldn't do it just makes it more appealing, right? it's like my friend says, "it's no fun to drink now that i'm legal."
now i've just gone off on a tangent. oh well. i believe i began this post talking about cleaning. oh, right, process. that's what i was talking about. yes. life is a process. i need to remember that more because i tend to get bored with life. work, school, homework, eat, sleep, work, school, etc. it seems like a monotonous cycle sometimes. but i can't think about that. i need to think about the process and how at the end of it i will have reached my goal. or at least i'll be closer to it.
k. goodnight
2 comments:
Wonderful wisdom!
I have to follow this too ;).
hi. so i have decided that what psychology mostly is is giving fancy names to things that people often figure out on their own anyway. so. i have a name for one of the things you're experiencing. It's an ironical effect. You know, when you try hard not to think about something, and in the end you just end up thinking about it anyway? A study I was reading for class was talking about how often when you try not to think about something, you are only successful if you're not thinking about much of anything else. As soon as you have what they call a "cognitive load" - meaning you're multitasking - you slip up, and are actually more likely to think about whatever it was than if you hadn't been trying not to think about it (because in trying to avoid it, you're making the idea more accessible). So. I know at first this sounds fatalistic, but it's really helped me develop a strategy. Now instead of trying not to think about things, I address and then dismiss them. In your case of what ifs, it might look like something like "that could happen. but even if it does, things will be ok in the end. now i'll focus on right now."
just an idea. obviously it doesn't have to go exactly like that, but you get the point.
HDL.
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